My eldest cat Miracle passed away on Aug 12th. He would have been 17yrs old in Nov. He was fighting kidney disease for almost a year and it finally took over. Miracle was a hard loss. I've had him the longest and he was my first cat. He always slept on my pillow above my head and liked to ‘groom’ me. He was an extremely well behaved cat and one of kind. I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did with his kidney issues =( since it’s not curable all I could do was make him comfortable and give him the best quality of life. It wasn't a huge shock because I knew he was sick, but still I really wish I was home when he passed. At least I could have said good-bye. Part of me wants to think he waited until Will and I were both gone to work before he died.


I've had some good laughs and memories with Miracle. As so did Will. Miracle was his first cat too. There were so many humorous encounters, including him and Miracle fighting over the spot on the bed. My only regret is just not being home. I really wish I could have been home.

The odd thing about it all is that I have a foster named Mai and I was thinking about adopting her before Miracle even passed. But then when Miracle died I held off on adopting her and thought about it more. I really love Mai but I wanted my old cat back not a new one. I just wanted Miracle. I had a lot of second thoughts.

Mai is very loving and comes running to me when I come home. She literally jumps from the floor up into my arms - my husband tries to get her to do it for him but I guess she just prefers me. I felt slight guilt because I believe Miracle would be jealous, but as someone told me, "maybe she came into your life at this time for a reason, if you believe in fate?" Needless to say I ended up believing in fate and now Mai is officially a part of the family.

I feel like my patience and mental well being are being greatly tested right now. I've lost two of my personal cats within a couple of months from each other and the one squirrel who I thought would pull through didn't make it =( It's so hard not to blame myself or ask what I did wrong. In the end for my kitties at least I know that they did have good lives - plenty of food, shelter, love, and companionship. I just regret not being there for Miracle - He was my first cat. He pulled me through a lot and was always there. For wildlife it's more complicated...I'm already trying to raise something that people aren't meant to raise. Regardless of how much a mother I'm trying to be to them I'm not their real mother who knows exactly what they need - it's hard to accept that losing 2 cats in a matter of months has taken its toll on me. Fable was a surprise and hit hard and then Miracle. But now it feels a little better having new life into the family instead of the constant death that has being going on.

I had three 5 day old squirrels that did not make it. Two of them died at around a week old and the last one held on until 3-4 weeks old! They had fallen out of the nest and were pretty bruised/scratched up when I got them – not to mention cold.

Right after the last one died I got in another; a little girl that is still hanging on. She’s about 5 weeks old and appears to be doing ok. Then a bigger boy twice her size that is very lethargic and we are not sure if he is going to make it.

Wildlife is a given that there will be deaths. I am still learning and majority of the time they come to me already compromised or without a mom for days. So I always start off with a baby that is already starving and dehydrated. It’s hard to bring them back sometimes.

I have two foster kittens right now as well. Vivi and Chouji aka ‘chompy’. Vivi is a very unique all black kitten that makes so many noises and sounds! He is a talker! His noises range from purrs and meows to raccoon type sounds when he runs and plays. Chouji is an extremely brave little boy that has extra toes (polydactyl). He likes to ‘chomp’ on everything so that’s why his nickname is chompy!

As for my mental health I’m still on track even though I’ve been tested many times so far! Hopefully, I can keep up with it all. Therapy has been helping a lot since I’ve been going every week. I’ve got a plan and it’s slowly being put into action. I’m staring online classes more towards the end of the year when work is not as busy and I can focus a bit better. And I’ll be doing that for quite sometime before I move onto other studies if I find it enjoyable and want to further my education. Looks like a house is going to have to wait a bit longer since I’ve decided to take some classes! It ain’t cheap but paying out of pocket is WAY better than getting a loan so I think the house can wait =)

Heading to Kings Dominion on the 30th~ Hope it doesn’t rain!