We had a King Jacuzzi Suite and loved every bit of the little get away. We enjoyed it to the fullest because I knew that it would be our last for a very long time. It’s been about two weeks and a couple of days and I think I’ve got myself somewhat together. Some changes are going to be made and I’m trying my hardest to stick to them. I’ve decided on quite a few things – some at work and some in my personal life that really HAVE to change.
Now, if anyone knows me then they know that I HATE change – period. I hate it and always have so I have to be quite desperate to be trying to make these changes myself and actually sticking to them.
Life was kicking my ass. That’s about the gist of it. I was more worried about what others were doing, or trying to save the world, stressing over work that wasn’t even mine to stress over then spending stress money and worrying about social life.
There’s also the situation with daily living – I felt as if I was stuck - as if my life was just standing still and no matter what I did my life still appeared trapped. I feel like we’ve been saving forever and ever. But some things we simply cannot achieve unless there is sufficient credit involved and that is something only time can give. I want to move on – get outta here – but some things gotta change before I do that.
Well - things are changing and so far I think I’m doing a pretty good job. I just have to make it a habit and get on a routine that I like and can get use to.
Some things might affect others – some things will only affect me – but at this point it may seem heartless and selfish but if this is what I gotta do to move on then so be it. I’m not pushing myself for other people’s standards or for other people – I’m going to push myself for me and my husband and our goals – no one else. Here are just 10 out of many. 
#1 – Staying Home
(it sounds stupid but we are almost never ever home and the more time we are out the more money is spent – so only picking like one day a week to get essentials or little food items is sufficient.)
#2 – Stress Shopping
(Exactly how it sounds – it’s a bad habit and has to stop)
#3 – Work
(I’m considering to stop fostering kittens. If I’m going to work at the wildlife center on days I’m off then I’ll need to cut back to just two at a time or just stop fostering. Bringing work home with me is also another big stress factor that has been taking a toll. I love what I do but sometimes choices have to be made and right now – I want my Rehabilitation License. Also just relying on myself – if I just rely on myself and not others things seems to go a lot smoother).
#4 – Social Life
(I cannot explain how much I stress over trying to get together with people, trying to make friends or hang out. I’d even thought I'd made some new friends to hang out with, but no matter what I either get no replies or something gets set up then called off. I always have my schedule for a whole month or maybe more and actually hand out my schedule to say "hey! These are the days I'm free!" I’m done stressing over trying to get with people. Everyone is busy all the time no matter what -no one has time for friends anymore.
So instead of the stress and grief I put myself though for other people I am withdrawing my time and focusing it on what I have to achieve. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out. I have ALWAYS wanted to do things with people and make new friends to hang out with, but it’s just adding more tension right now - so I’m quitting. I give up – I’ve done my part if someone really wants to hang or be with me then I’ll always be here – I’ve always been here but somehow I’m just looked over – I guess I’m just not a very good friend and in the past few years I’ve even questioned that myself. Maybe my hard image when I was younger has ruined it for some people. Right now I believe there are only have 2 of you - and you know who you are; the ones that just call out of the blue wanting to do something - I would like more of those!)
#5 – Businesses
(Keep my mouth shut, mind my own business, and do my own work. Worrying about everyone else and trying to fix other people’s business is not in my best interest. In and out of work)
#6 – Internet Time
(Facebook; any other social networks are going to be limited to me. I will get on occasionally to post up some things like my blog, check my e-mails, messages, if anyone tries to get a hold of me – but that’s about it. I have much better things to do with my time (ie: working at the center, studying wildlife, or simply just savoring the time with my husband).
#7 – Health
(I don’t keep track very well and don’t at all t when I’m at the end of my rope. Eating the wrong things just because they are quick and I’m always on the go isn’t healthy. Skipping meals, not showering every day simply because I’m too beat to stand up, forgetting to brush my hair or teeth on work days, eating junk food all day the times I’m off etc…- not good – has to stop.)
#8 – Fitness
(Most will laugh at this one because I’m neither over weight nor do I look it, but there is more to this than people think. Yoga and Aerobic Exercise actually makes me feel better about myself, seems to relieve some stress, and also loosens up the tight spots that ache when I work long hours. On days I’m off and some I work I need to make this a part of my routine. Plus – the extra toning is a bonus I guess ^^).
#9 – Important Goals
(A new bed, another car, a house: these are things we need and they aren’t cheap either. I’ve had my bed for ages and we wake up hurting and tired every single day. Something I wake up and can’t feel my arm or my leg etc! The cats have also chewed through the box spring -_-. Another car – just a to-and-from car to get one of us to work and back. Will is late for work everyday because he drives me to work first. And days I’m off I need a way to get to the wildlife center and it’s just so much easier than relying on other people; something I am trying to avoid. A new house – well we’ve been working on that for a while now – but it seems our credit will have to go way up before we consider that – it is still at the top of the list though and one day we'll get it).
#10 – Focuses and Praying
(I know what I want and the goals I want to achieve. I have to keep my mind focused on those things and put them on the top of my list when I think about straying from my path. I can’t make these changes by myself alone especially since my bad habits seem to have gotten the best of me and I hate change--- – I am Christian and not afraid to show it. Keep my focus on God and my goals won’t ever be out of reach.)
That’s the main stuff – there are other personal things as well.
Anywayz – here are some pictures from our little trip to the zoo and aquarium in Virgina. We do plan to go back some time and get hands on with the harbor seals – after I’m made my changes habits and I do a good job xP It will be kind of like a little reward for doing well – if I do well! But that won’t be for a long while – since change does take a lot of time and patience – two things of which I do not like!
~~~Zoo~~~
The Fennec Fox and Meerkats were my faaavs! So CUTE! And they had the best ice cream there too ~ Fruity Swirls! It wasn't a big zoo so we ended up walking around it twice =) it was fun though!
~~~Aquarium~~~
This place was huge and had two buildings all together. It was minutes from Virgina Beach and it's the ONLY place in the USA to get hands on with Harbor Seals! They had and underwater tunnel and two touch pools! One had 3 types of sting rays and the other little creatures like crabs, starfish, etc... - They had a 10 minute trail you could walk between the two buildings - it was very nice!
No comments:
Post a Comment