Seeing spring bloom is great – one of my favorite feelings in the world. I probably would have a different outlook if I had allergies like my hubby though. Lovin’ the warm weather!

Wildlife started coming in shortly after I came back from England and I’ve had at least one of each species I particularly do; squirrel, opossum, and bunnies. My full rehabber license has arrived and I have classes coming up as well. I love the hands on classes and the next one is about capture and restraint. So that means dart guns, rifle, nets, trapping etc… - all hands on! Get to work on my shootin’ skillz – haha. But I don’t think I’ll ever be using them – it’s still good information to know.

My wildlife fostering is getting to a bit of a rough start this year. My little girl opossum didn’t make it due to an illness she had. In her place I ended up with 3 more that appear healthy and are already trying to eat on their own even though they are still a bit young! The squirrel (we named Cheerio) is already in an outside cage and doing great. And I tried my best with the bunny group of 4, but none of them made it =( - two died very early on and then the last two made it all the way off milk and even into an outside cage but died shortly after. Rabbits are extremely hard to rehab as they only have a 10% chance of survival in the first place so I’m surprised the last two lived that long!


Mother’s Day was relaxing for me after working over 50 hours in 4 days. That’s including my trips to the wildlife center and my animals at home. I was pretty tired by Sunday, but pushed through my early morning cleaning at work on overdrive then crashed afterwards. We had a nice lunch/dinner BBQ at Ken’s house with mom and even played in the ocean a bit. The sandbars down in Deale are amazing =D We would have gone out as far as we could but due to some jellyfish spawning we decided that getting stung was not worth it. Especially since my sis and I have both gotten stung before and know how bad it can hurt. Will is fortunate enough not to have had that experience yet and concluded on he’s not going to!

Ugh, and I don’t even want to start on my b-day. I just want to say that b-day’s are overrated. Every single year something goes wrong and just pushes me over the edge. I took off for my b-day and I won’t be making that mistake again. I spent it at a vet’s office, spending $300 on blood work, just so the next day I’m told that my cat should be humanely euthanized… My poor kitty Fable had liver failure ;_; . He was a good cat and he will be dearly missed.




We did go out the weekend before which started ok at first. As the days went on I just proceeded to feel guilty about not being with my cat because I knew he looked sickly before I left. He was still up and about and responding to touches so I figured he could make it until we came back – it was only Sat and Sun. The vet’s office is closed on weekends anyway. So that worrying thought in my mind just put me in a mood the whole time we were in VA, Beach.

We went to the Norfolk Zoo and the Aquarium. I did enjoy it and I always love seeing animals/taking pictures. We’ve been there before and it was nice going back. It’s what I wanted to do in the first place, but not with my sick cat on my mind.

I tried to stay occupied and be a decent guest as we were staying with my mom, Ken, and his daughter that we had just met. She was nice enough to let us stay at her house while we were there. I’m not saying I didn’t appreciate everything that was done for me; I just think under different circumstances I might have been better. Every little thing was bothering me. I was also upset about other things not regarding my cat. I know it wasn’t in their control but I really would have liked to seen certain people. I honestly wouldn’t have gone on the trip if I could have done something with them instead.


I was also feeling slightly pushed at times. Everyone asking me where I want to go, what I want to do, etc etc…I really did not want to be bothered! I was getting upset. Even when it isn’t my b-day I’m always the one that has to make a decision…I really hate that. And it doesn’t help that everyone else says ‘I don’t care.’ Doesn’t anyone else have an opinion other than me?! You MUST like something! It makes me look selfish going where I want to go or doing what I want to do all the time. Just because I don’t want to do it doesn’t mean other ppl can’t do it without me! I’m not exactly the life of the party and never was.

Not to mention that we got pulled over by a cop on the way back home. That was a first for me; being as Will was driving I was in the car with him when it happened. We were keeping up with crazy traffic but I guess the cop decided to choose Will as his quarry that day. We were lucky and got off with a warning. Still…that only stirred my emotions up even more and I couldn’t release them. I was holding them back because Mom and Ken were in the car.


Needless to say, all hell broke loose on my b-day and I lost it. I really thought I was going into a relapse and I still feel like it to a point. And all it took was just a simple, stupid, disagreement that Will and I had. That was all that it took to push me completely off the wall. Things that I didn’t want to do came back. Thoughts that I haven’t thought about in a really long time came back. And now lingering emotions from my cat’s death and the whole situation occupy my mind. To top it all off, work has made it worse. I don’t even want to get into that.

What I really want to do is move. I want Will to get a better job that’s actually in his degree and I want to broaden my work experience in different aspects. Right now I have the desire to just work…all day and all night and never stop. I’m stuck in a rut right now and it’s difficult for me to pull myself out. I have very little desire to do the things I enjoy doing. And everything is getting to me. But, I’ve been through this before and I know the signs of depression and I’m showing all kinds of signs to myself at the moment. It’s either work excessively or sleep excessively and I want to do both.

I’m mad at myself, but then again I’m also mad at the world.